It’s a only a short distance from the hovels of Highgate to the penthouses of Peckham, but in many ways it’s a world apart. Following the SLB Xmas party we decided to list a few important differences. As we may have been slightly worse for wear at the time of writing, some parts may be exaggerated, ahem, for your entertainment.
North Londoners go to work in holes, whereas we go to work on arches. Their trains are cramped and sweaty while ours are spacious and air-conditioned. OK, I exaggerated. A bit. But we have a nice view and go faster. Try going to Edgware on the tube. Take a book. War and Peace is good. Oh, and just so we know how horrid their journeys are, they gave us a bit of their Northern Line. Thanks. Can we give it back?
They don’t have much open space over there – its rammed on Hampstead Heath on a summer weekend. But we have those most egalitarian of green spaces – the Commons. Shall I list them? Wimbledon, East Sheen, Barnes, Wandsworth, Tooting Bec, Clapham, Streatham, Peckham Rye, Woolwich, Plumstead. Just where do they graze their sheep?
Loud Football Fans
They sit politely, eating their prawn sandwiches. They do cheer when they score a goal, but only if it was preceded by 300 passes. And they pay someone to wave a flag after a goal. We are SHOUTY, bang drums and generally go mental. There are loud cheers for anything that sweats. A 0-0 draw is greeted as a triumph.
A Toll Road
OK, so you’ve got to pay a quid to take the quick way from Dulwich to Crystal Palace but it’s a price worth paying for a bit of history, and the iconic finger signposts mean you’ll never get lost in this unique urban village. Even those living in places in North London beginning with ‘H’ are envious.
The Tallest Building
No contest, we’ve got The Shard after all! But why pay twenty five quid to look down on North London when you can do it for free every day?
South Lon-don, la-la-la, South Lon-don, la-la-la, etc. etc. Happy Xmas!!